Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Syawal Ke 6 Tanpa Mama

Ye…. Tahun ni tahun ke 6 kami semua beraya tanpa Mama...….. How do I feel?

The feeling haven't change a bit since 28th April, 2012.. It will never be the same again tho... To think about it, I haven't celebrate Raya with my parents and my family since 2007- 2012 and all in all 6 years since I was away at my place of birth. Plus another 6 years after mama left us, total is 12 years!! During the period of 2007-2011, I didn't feel the distance and loneliness during Raya because mama used to sent me parcels through our pilot friends- Nadir and Ayil (they are also our childhood friends since kindergarten). At that time, they were on Kul- Lon route on monthly basis. Therefore, we always commute back and forth from Soton- London at least once in a month. They are also avid cyclists and loved to purchase online things. It was a barter system because we brought their things in exchange of our parcels sent by mama. Thinking of it, we never run out of stock!! The keropok, rempah ratus etc... Mama will always try to search and get it for me. Huhuhu…… We also talked  on daily basis too... shortest conversation was 10 minutes and longest was 2 hours!!

One thing that I don't feel so lost and full of regrets (unlike my sisters) is that I got to spent at least one solid month in a year with my parents because they came to the UK every year since 2008. In March 2010, when we got the 'disaster' news about my pregnancy. It happened that my family was in Southampton (my parents, youngest sister and brother) when we found out about the complication. It was a blessing in disguised because they were there during my mental turmoil. When I was in my 37 weeks of pregnancy, mama came back to give me moral support and stayed for a month...

That are among the stories that I believe Allah shows His Mercy on me to have mama by my side even we are separated by thousands miles. Alhamdulillah...

I miss you so much mama.... but at the same time, I have good feeling that you are in a better place now. InsyaAllah, one fine day I will follow you too...….

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