Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Syawal Ke 6 Tanpa Mama

Ye…. Tahun ni tahun ke 6 kami semua beraya tanpa Mama...….. How do I feel?

The feeling haven't change a bit since 28th April, 2012.. It will never be the same again tho... To think about it, I haven't celebrate Raya with my parents and my family since 2007- 2012 and all in all 6 years since I was away at my place of birth. Plus another 6 years after mama left us, total is 12 years!! During the period of 2007-2011, I didn't feel the distance and loneliness during Raya because mama used to sent me parcels through our pilot friends- Nadir and Ayil (they are also our childhood friends since kindergarten). At that time, they were on Kul- Lon route on monthly basis. Therefore, we always commute back and forth from Soton- London at least once in a month. They are also avid cyclists and loved to purchase online things. It was a barter system because we brought their things in exchange of our parcels sent by mama. Thinking of it, we never run out of stock!! The keropok, rempah ratus etc... Mama will always try to search and get it for me. Huhuhu…… We also talked  on daily basis too... shortest conversation was 10 minutes and longest was 2 hours!!

One thing that I don't feel so lost and full of regrets (unlike my sisters) is that I got to spent at least one solid month in a year with my parents because they came to the UK every year since 2008. In March 2010, when we got the 'disaster' news about my pregnancy. It happened that my family was in Southampton (my parents, youngest sister and brother) when we found out about the complication. It was a blessing in disguised because they were there during my mental turmoil. When I was in my 37 weeks of pregnancy, mama came back to give me moral support and stayed for a month...

That are among the stories that I believe Allah shows His Mercy on me to have mama by my side even we are separated by thousands miles. Alhamdulillah...

I miss you so much mama.... but at the same time, I have good feeling that you are in a better place now. InsyaAllah, one fine day I will follow you too...….

Monday, June 25, 2018

Syawal 2018

Assalamualaikum n Selamat Hari Raya semua :)

Ada lagi ke yg follow blog I ni...hihihi….tengok last post...tudiaaaaaa it was nearly a year a go!
Where have I been? Ermmm Aaaaa Oooohhhh Lalalala…. Busy...busy dgn apa...Busy dgn mcm2..
Dgn my study yg x abes2 tu ( muka pun dh stone dan xde perasaan dah bila ada yg tanya...Haa? x abes2 lagi) Kikiki bertabah laa ye... Dah mmg slow mellow..xde apa yg leh disalahkan melainkan diri sendiri yg motivation ups n downs n ada masa down e drain..... Hahahaha…. Alhamdulillah.... I passed my viva defense… wpun banyak laa juga senarai corrections nak kena hadap semula… At least, sampai laa juga hujung2 tunnel..So skeet lagi je ye Durra..Common… InsyaAllah by few months... Freedom!!!! Ameen Ameen Ameen… Uolls tolong Aminkan bebanyak utk I ye.... supaya jd rajin n cepat2 settlekan corrections tu.…. n focus I x lari jauh2 erewang merata ;)

So, kita citer kisah raya laaa….. Raya 2018 happening dr last year sbb CUTI LAMA due to cuti sekolah 2 weeks....Yak Yak Yeaaaa…. We all gerak balik arah utara dari hari Isnin lagi (11/6/18) sbb En. Abg outstation di Penang... So 2 mlm tu lepak kat Park Avenue Hotel, SP sbb x jauh dr site... Pastu baru gerak balik Perlis ke rumah ayahanda terchinta….. Lepak sana n berbuka puasa kat Masjid MATIN... so mlm raya tu, berbuka ramai2 kat Pendang (kampung halaman tok) sekali dgn saudara mara semua…. Happening n mlm tu aku n En. Abg temankan tok tido kat kampung...Well, aku kan cucu kesayangan tok...kikikiki…. Pepagi sesudah subuh, to dh riuh kejutkan kami..

Mangkit ..Mangkit...Kaih Kaih...P kemaih2 ruang bawah rumah...P bentang sejadah2... So, mmg kena la kami berdua ikut arahan tok...Actually rumah tok ni setahun sekali dua je berpenghuni..Sbbnya sejak arwah Wan xde 2006.. Tok (panggilan utk grandmother kat kedah) terus migrate pindah dok kat pondok moden  MATIN.. Tok beli sebiji unit n ayah aku pun beli gak unit Semi D masa arwah mama masih ada lagi as their retirement home.... Kiranya, tok n ayah aku berjiran laa gitu kekdahnya...hihihi….jarak rumah x sampai 20 metres pun...


Sambung balik kisah 1 Syawal 2018, lps settle set up semua….dlm kul 8.30 pg mmg saudara mara n geng kampung sebaris pakat2 dtg ke rumah tok utk bersolat sunat Syawal….. Agak syahdu juga sebab old faces ramai yg dah kembali KpdNya… n org pun semakin susut/x ramai… Asalnya….Seingat aku masa kecik2, kami semua bersolat sunat Syawal Eid Adha dan even solat Tarawikh kat Rumah Nenek (betul2 setentang umah tok) dlm 10 metres... Lepas nenek pun xde...tradisi tetap diteruskan for several years sampai lah rumah tu mula diserang anai-anai...Jadi diorng pindah tradisi tu ke umah arwah Tok Lang aku/ adik tok (sebelah rumah Nenek)..Lepas Tok Lang meninggal dunia 4 tahun lepas, tukar lokasi ke rumah Tok….

I am not sure how long this tradition will continue... Hopefully for several years.. Tok aku pun tahun ni dah 87 tahun.. Walaupun Tok masih lagi gagah n boleh lg bersolat secara berdiri ( x perlu bantuan) n mampu lagi solat tarawikh 20 rakaat almost every night..Alhamdulillah… Tapi bila aku tengok Tok, hati aku selalu berkata-kata.. Sampai bila Allah akan bagi aku merasa PinjamanNya ni.. (Serious mood syahdu uolls… ye laaa aku sgt akrab dgn tok… Cucu Sulong kan.. n mmg antara semua cucu, aku paling lama lepak kat kampung tiap kali cuti sekolah) Moga Allah panjangkan umur n kesihatan tok..Ameen...Sob Sob Sob

Ok...back to kisah raya… Raya sakan2 dgn sanak saudara berlangsung sampai lah ke hari Isnin 18/6/18 (eh cantic pulak date tu)...Abah buat kenduri aqiqah utk Nuh (anak Arief/ adik bongsu kami)..Diorng balik kejap Malaysia dari Cairo, Egypt sbb nak settlekan urusan passport Nuh. Sbb embassy Mesir x selengkap embassy UK...Mcm passport IN n MH mmg dpt buat terus kat London on e same day masa register birth cert (org Malaysia berlambak kat UK, so mesin tu mmg satu keperluan). Lepas balik 1st day raya kat Pendang...Kami berkampung kat rumah Mak Linda (mak baru kami) di TITIS, Darulaman seterusnya sampai lah next day ptg, gerak semula balik KL... on e way singgah Penang 2 mlm, meeting lagi…. n Khamis tu.… Sempat lah menyinggah makan doyan kat Kuala Kangsar... Ya.. kami sekeluarga mmg hantu doyan… kalau takat beli sebij dua sekali hadap, mmg x cukup...huhuhu...tu sbb x leh makan musang king... so, kami prefer kampung breed.. hihihihihi….. yg unpredictable.... n penuh unsur suspense... I loooikeeee….
Lepas tu, stop by lagi kat Proton City ziarah geng ketat Farabi n Norimah…. akhirnya selamat sampai rumah jam 12 tgh mlm e next day ..Alhamdulillah, traffic mmg sgt smooth mcm x raya je...hihihi

so.….itu lah kisahnya Syawal 2018 Bersama keluarga di Utara....Kisah Raya di KL, x mula lagi sbb mmg x menyempat nak g mana2 sbb rumah kena sebu hari Sabtu tu dari pg sampai ke malam… dah mcm open house dah..mesti jiran ingat kami buat open house, walhal mostly semua dtg impromptu … Rasa terharu sbb kengkawan sudi dtg menyinggah beraya kat rumah comel kami yg punya susah nak masuk ..walhal flat je pun... :P

ok laaa Panjang betul kisahnya…. entah bila lah pulak nak tulis lagi..ni pun tunggu setahun...hihihi…

Selamat Hari Raya semua
Maaf salah silap sepanjang daku bersiaran…… :)



Monday, July 10, 2017

It's July 2017....

Assalamualaikum n happy half way Syawal 1348H peeps...

lama betul x bersiaran...since ada IG account, mmg blog ni sgt laa di anak tirikan. hehehe....sebabnya x menyempat nak duduk kat depan lappy n menaip!But this blog has a special spot in my life due to its humble beginning when I first started to get involved in IT/ blogging world. If I am not mistaken, the blog plays importance role in writing down my life since 2007. Almost a decade!!!

Banyak kenangan dan memory yg tersimpan dlm blog ni....kalau sesiapa yg pernah follow blog aku ni dari dulu mmg Nampak evolution perjalanan hidup aku...dari mula berkahwin, bekerja di IPTA, kemusian berhijrah ke UK..penambahan keluarga di sana dari berdua kepada 3..kemudian jadi 4..dari kisah MH yang menjadi penghuni tetap PAH (Princess Anne Hospital, Southampton) dari janin lagi hingga awal setahun usianya...kemudian IN pun menghadirkan diri...kisah aku menjadi suri pelajar...dan we are back for good after nearly 7 years jadi org UK...n skrng, my student life is nearly ends...n hopefully by 2018, buka chapter baru in my life..sebagai seorang yg bekerjaya maybe ;) doa2kan lah ye kengkawan n pembaca2 tersayang... Ameen...tiada yg mustahil.... Life family kami walau pun xde la happening n x hipster pun..hahaha..Alhamdulillah, we lead a very humble yet happy life. Cukup makan, cukup pakai, cukup utk infaq sket22...ok lah...keter buatan Malaysia ada sebijik (loans)...rumah dok menyewa lagi n masih duduk berdekatan dgn inlaw.....kesihatan pun masih ok...anak2 pun dah mula masuk sekolah...bea sungguh 15 years back..Nikmat mana yg mahu  kamu dustakan...cukup serba serbi.... :)


Sunday, January 15, 2017

Jawi dilemma....

Assalamualaikum n Happy Monday...

Nampaknya aku semakin rajin jengah blog ni..Hihihi...bukan apa, bila tengah stuck dgn writing. Writing dlm bentuk yg lebih santai bagi aku kebebasan utk mengutarakan pandangan. Ok x BM aku..hehehe..

Kali ni episod Jawi pulak...Bukan Counter strike back..Tapi how to instill jawi to your kids..Jangan tanya aku lagi sbb anak2 aku mmg x reti Jawi. Cumanya aku nak diorng belajar perkara asas ni supaya diorng x jadi buta Jawi..jawi tu pada aku sebahagian dari jati diri Bangsa Melayu.... Jawi tu sgt cantik dan indah..tetambah kalau korng pandai tulis khat...pergggh....mmg marbeles

Pada aku, Jawi tu super important spt mana tahu membaca Iqra dan Al Quran. Disebabkan aku x hantar MH ke kelas KAFA, aku kena cari jalan mcm mana nak bagi MH tahu membaca dan menulis Jawi. Sebab x hantar lagi ke kelas KAFA, nak bg dia adjust dgn routine baru yg agak memenatkan dia....

Benda ni mmg x mudah dan memerlukan latihan dari segi pengalaman dan juga pembacaan. Tapi achievable InsyaAllah. Mcm aku dulu, mmg dr darjah 1, parents aku hantar aku g kelas KAFA yg lebih kurang mcm skrng ni..n Sekolah menengah pun aku belajar dlm suasana yg memerlukan aku menulis Jawi setiap hari...Boleh la takat nak baca Jawi tu lepas la org kata, tapi bab menulis tu dah mcm kura2 sbb jarang practice skrng ni...huhhu....

Untuk bab Iqra dan Al Quran. Kami laki bini selain di para guru tadika mengajar MH (thanks very much Tadika HI). Alhamdulillah, lepas satu hurdle, MH mulakan 2017 dengan buku baru iaitu Al Quran. Caranya:

1. Iqra di ajar di tadika selang sehari (day care only, waktu ptg)
2. Setiap mlm, kami laki bini takes turn ajar MH dlm maximum 15 minutes
3. Bagi setiap level yg Iqra, MH berjaya habiskan, award akan diberikan (x lebih dr RM100)
so antara yang MH pernah request n dpt (Aquarium set, Hot Wheel set, Badminton rackets..semua request tu mmg ikut musim minat MH..

Cumanya, approach utk MH tu x berapa sesuai dgn adiknya yang x berapa nak focus. Jadinya utk IN..kami cuma spent 5 minutes je dulu utk dia baca Iqra n system rewards masih diguna pakai...So, nnt kita tengok perjalanan IN belajar Iqra sbb dia cepat hilang fokus n Manja yg amat!!!

InsyaAllah utk pembelajaran Jawi bagi MH, aku cuba dulu dgn approach Pengenalan kepada suku kata Jawi dan sesi pembelajaran akan dibuat secara santai sahaja. Iaitu hujung minggu. Kenapa x hantar kepada org? Hmmmm satu budget mmg tight, satu lagi, aku cuba praktik apa yg mak aku dok buat kat kami. Beliau akan duduk n sama2 buat keje rumah dgn kami walaupun sesibuk mana pun jadual harian beliau (arwah mama mengajar di masjid2 dan surau2 di sekitar Bangi at that time). Biaanya dlm 15- 30m minit sehari...wpun kejap, tapi aku rasa berkesan. Mmg jarang aku kena denda dlm kelas sbb x buat homework..kalau lupa tu pun...aku lupa nak bawa kuar buku tu...padan muka..

Next project, mcm mana nak bagi bebudak ni hafal surah2 lazim yang selain Al Fatihah, 3 Kul dan yg pendek2 tu...mcm revision utk aku jugak...InsyaAllah..tu next project...

Aku x cuba nak judge or nak stamp aku punya pemikiran kpd org lain. Aku just nak share je apa yg aku cuba nak tengah buat. Segala cadangan dan pandangan amat dialu2kan...
Well...blog ni dh mcm blog pendidikan pulak...hahahahaha...layaaaannn....

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Tuition anyone?

Assalamualaikum n Happy Tuesday....

We are already in the middle of January...n school  marks its 9th day for MH...n I have met a handful of MH's classmates' parents and got the up close and personal experience with the mindsets of Malaysian parents. To be honest, i can 'see' anxiety and ambitious that spells : Competition. Woah.... what have we got here? A very competitive society ? Not to mention, a highly protocol nation and goes by the individual title to set an invisible rank? Howeeee.... It was an exciting n eye opening experience for me to get to know people from different backgrounds.

I do love to sit back and 'watch n read' people. I have learnt it from the best : My father... Why? He told me once that to be able to access and observe your surroundings gives you added advantages in social interaction and avoid conflicts due to differences. I didnt understand his points at that time because i was in primary school. Later in my life, Yup...he is absolutely right about it. One of the advantage we are getting to know human personalities and we get to apply the suitable friendship approach individually...hmmmm thinking back, i am taking a wrong major here? hahaha...

Back to the reality of our education system. I don't recall when I was young, school time is so stressful and pressured especially in primary? Should i just jump into the bandwagon and push my kids into series of tuition classes, give them a mountain of homework, ask them to sit and study everyday? or i just let them learn n experience themselves? Or should i feel guilty that i didnt do any of the above for my kids? Most answers given by the parents I have met : we dont want our kids to be left behind and want them to be the best.

Hmmmmm.... it brings shivers down my spine because we are talking about 7 years old kids!! Most of the MH's classmates attend tuition classes ( from KUMON, english, math, other languages, including Mandarin) since they were 6 years old!. I got a unbelievable stare when I said.. i dont send him and we dont have a near future plan to send him to one. But, we will send him when he is in standard 6... Hmmmmm.... it's a complicated situation to be honest.... Malaysia society: tuition... I cant ignore the facts that we are an exam orientated society. Durra, just live with it...hahahaha....

Yours truely,
Rebel is my middle name

Monday, January 9, 2017

10th of January....2017

Assalamualaikum n well wishes to all my friends....

Today marks the 10th day of January...n this is my FIRST entry for the year of 2017.
Alhamdulillah we are still here and alive.....

Starting this year, my daily routine has also changed slightly,  because MH starts his standard 1 at Sekolah Kebangsaan.... means that another milestone in his life...

While IN has to get used to kindergarten life without her brother's presence. Now she is 5 years old. She doesn't seem bothered at all...hahahaha...Go go go girl...
N their momma....hoho...still struggling with the writing part. Have to finalize it by next month..InsyaAllah...

So far, not bad....I purposely didnt send MH to Kafa class because of his health condition - Semput/ lack of lugs capacity. Even he needs to attend SK session in the afternoon. It takes his energy away, and every night we need to puff him. But, looking at his spirits and courage, i feel at ease and i do believe that as time passes, as he is getting used to the system..InsyaAllah...everything will take place nicely....

Starting this week, schools have run its operation in full swing. No more orientation and it means, tonnes of book bring in to the class. MH has been placed in the DLP class after the initial test set by the school during orientation week. Hope that he is enjoying himself in that class and makes new friends...Three of his classmates from the pervious kindergarten are in his class.

In the mean time, I plan to teach him myself Jawi during weekend...Though, I am not excellent in Jawi, but I do believe the importance of Jawi in our life... His father will teach him Quran every night... The rest, it's up for him to decide and work for it... we dont want to push him because the learning process is a long journey. We just want him to enjoy his learning. But, we will try our best to support his needs. I bet every parent has the similar idea too ;) He needs to start Solah too..At least Maghrib... I am planning to spend at least 15 minutes a day during night time with both of them..Looking through the homeworks.

Ok guys, happy January....

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Dulu dan Kini : kids nowadays

Assalamualaikum n Happy Wednesday....

Baru2 ni Kakwa ada terbaca kat Metro kes yang parents 'sound' x puas hati dengan pentadbiran sekolah berkenaan pelajar2 duduk di atas jalan waktu perhimpunan... n rentetan isu tu... mcm 'perang mulut' between PIBG n school management n semestinya netizens pun join semangkuk laa..bla bla bla bla....

Kakwa x kuasa nak panjangkan kisah tu...tp kisah ibu bapa n pelajar n sekolah bukan lah satu berita rare nowadys mmg selalu je keluar kisah2 seumpamanya...... n kakwa pun xde nak ulas panjang sbb x sure apa yg berlaku sebenarnya... Apa yang kakwa nak share/simpulkan:

1. Adab
Bab ni kita dedulu selalu belajar bawah title "Akhlak" ni kalau dlm syllbus Pendidikan Islam baik di Sekolah harian or Sekolah KAFA (yg petang tu)... kalau bebudak non-muslim..tu dalam Syllbus Moral bawah Nilai2 Murni...
Adab ni mmg merangkumi pegangan n pergerakan kita seharian... Jadinya Adab sewaktu makan, adab dengan jiran..even dgn haiwan n tumbuhan pun ada gak adabnya kepada makhluk Allah...
Adab kalau kita sebagai pelajar, Adab pelajar dan guru....dan adab dgn Ilmu...
Dari kecik lagi..bab adab ni...mama n abah tersangat laa particularnya.... silap langkah, x jaga adab... berbirat laaa tapak kaki or montot tu.. oppss...hehehe...
So, masa Kakwa sekolah2 dulu... mana laa Kakwa nak berani bgtahu Kakwa kena denda dgn cikgu (sebab lupa buat homework) or Kakwa kena berdiri luar kelas sbb Kakwa (buat2 lupa bawa buku..kes x siap homework) or Kakwa tumbuk manja kawan (hehehe...gurau je tu..darah skeet je pun) n kena mengadap Guru Besar.. mama biasanya tahu je..tp buat2 x tahu...hohoho....x berani Ooooi nak mengadu.... terutamanya mmg confirm laa salah Kakwa sendiri... silap mengadu... dapat 'rewards' berganda lagi ada lah...
N skrng, bila jumpa balik cikgu2 tu..jadi geng dah... betapa hormatnya Kakwa dgn guru2 yang mendidik Kakwa... sebab ketegasan diorng laaa Kakwa jadi 'org'..hehehe.... Alhamdulillah...

2. Disiplin di rumah
Benda ni sebenarnya common sense...... tapi mungkin ada masa kita terlupa dgn bab EQ ni... Kakwa ckp diri sendiri.... Memula dulu Kakwa dok buat laa benda mcm2 utk anak2 Kakwa.... dr mandi kan , pakai kan baju, suapkan makanan.... errmmm.... tp kalau baby/toddler... ok lagi... bebaru ni..reality hits me hard...eh...anak2 aku dah umur 4 tahun ke atas dah... they are kids already n mulut pun pot pet pot pet... x baligh lagi..tp dah tahu bezakan mana yg OK n mana yg x OK...Subhanallah... masa Kakwa umur 6 tahun... mcm2 dah mama n abah suruh buat... wpun ada pembantu rumah sendiri... tp they are very strict with us...especially bab menjaga diri....
- kemas tempat tidur.. (xde suruh cekangkan katil mcm kat kem tentera) asalkan xde nampak x senonoh sgt katil...ok laa tu
- baju kotor...letak dlm washing machine..baju yg dah dilipat...masukkan sendiri dlm cabinet
- toys/meja study- sila kemas sendiri...Mak korang bukan maid ok...
- dining- tlng set up meja, bawa pinggan etc...n lepas makan...tlng bawa sendiri ke sink...basuh lg bagus...
- tolong sidaikan kain
- buang kan sampah
- sapu porch
- bagi kucing makan...
n the list goes on and on...sesuai laa dgn umur kitaorng....
Jadinya...what my parents did to us... I just apply it on these two muchkins...n keep on telling them...you are responsible for ur own act... x kemas meja study.. n tetiba air tertumpah atas paper..jgn nak naik angin ok.... or korng x angkat pinggan makan.. n semut dtg secara berjemaah n gigit korang...kenapa ye?i j
Hehehe.... lately, Kakwa banyak pot pet....i try to reduce it... sbbnya letih..hahaha... i just wanna tell them, by helping me doing these small chores, you are one step to be independant n reliable person in the future.....they might not like it now, hopefully, they will see the benefits later...InsyaAllah...mama korng bukan tongkat langit or maid ye ;)

3. Polite
Yup bab ni mmg agak payah bg Kakwa jugak sbb DNA kami jenis bukan duduk diam2 n cakap perlahan2..hehehe... org kedah+ org perlis... rare kot nak tengok jenis x ckp deraih...hahahaha.. kami mmg set riuh... wpun ckp kuat...x semestinya kami x polite...yup..bab tu juga amat dititikberatkan oleh my parents... Tolong... terima kasih.. minta maaf... tu ayat2 emas... n lagi satu bersalaman dgn org yg kita kenal/jumpa...oooh tu Kakwa sgt ingat...sbb gara2 rebel xmo salam sorng auntie n lari kuar mcm tu...dapat hadiah tazkirah sejam n garis merah kat tapak kaki...ouchhhhh.... tp kesan mmg bagus utk ingatan...lepas tu...xyah suruh..x yah paksa.. terus je Kakwa buat...hehehehe....
Kakwa cuba gak terapkan dgn bebudak ni.... nampak mcm cheesy je.... tp kesopanan dan kesilaan tu...masuk dlm rukun Negara tu...

ok laaa....kakwa pun nak continue writing benda wajib... moga anak2 kita membesar jadi anak2 yg soleh dan solehah.... mmg penat jd parents ni kan..hew hew hew ;)