Thursday, November 8, 2018

Solace

Oraits………… It is a record since I posted twice in a day!! In the era where fb n ig conquered..It would be rare to write in a blog as frequently as I did today. Hahahaha…. I am also impressed with myself for doing this...
But I need to find solace to be able to express myself freely without having worries that others might judging me. Coz I believe that not many people are into blog walking nowadays.

Ok....I don't care about being perfect anymore. All I care is to finish...Finish and get though with it...Yeah.... May my motivation stays stronger till the end of the road..Ameen..You go girl!!! Be the girl that you used to be.. I have faith in you that you still have that strong wills and brave enough to face all challenges no matter what...IsyaAllah

#mycorrectionsjourney
#myphdlife

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Happy November and we are left with less than two months before 2018 bids it farewell.
What do we have achieved so far?
How many memories have we cherished?
How many people that we have lost?

Yup..... There are so many questions in my mind right now. To be honest.... I am happy with 2018 so far regardless of hiccups here and there. There were many times I had these negative thoughts of quitting and ran away from what I have started. Luckily, I kept on telling to myself. I need to finish this off for good or I will regret for not doing it for the rest of my life. Yes, I should have never doubt my own abilities and strengths. I am so blessed because I have been surrounded by positive and great individuals to keep on cheering and giving me endless supports from the beginning till now. But, there are many times, I have brought myself into this ugly situation. Nevertheless, Allah is always there to guide and gives His supports and endless loves. Hasbunallah Waniakmal Wakil. Who are we to question His Mercy.....

Overall, I am so thankful and blessed.Alhamdulillah…..


Yes....I need to finish this journey for good...I am targeting that by February, 2019... I can have my long waited freedom...InsyaAllah and I can start a new chapter of life. IsyaAllah

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Gastric

Salam Isnin……

Moga korang semua dalam keadaan ceria dan sihat selalu…..Alhamdulillah, aku baru je lepas ok dari serangan gastric. Yup, I had gastric since primary school. Gastric atau ulser di dalam perut..
Blamed it on my diet (bukan salah mama) I mean, I loved drinking carbonated drinks and sour food (furits and asam). I hade balance diet at home, but I took these drinks and food without my mama's consents or behind her back. Jadi, pepaham la ye ;) The habits continued when I was sent back to Kampung. Makin sakan laaa memulun..Cucu duduk dgn atok..Hmmmm..haahaha…. Campur itu ini...Akhirnya, usus aku makin nipis lepas memalui prosedur endoscopy. At one time, teruk sgt mmg selalu warded. Heee…… Bila dah besar n cerdik sikit jaga pemakanan...Alhamdulillah makin kurang serangan gastric tu..Cuma bila Ramadhan, memang akan ada sehari dua yang lompong sbb gastric ni…

Sekarang ni, aku dah faham perut sendiri. Antara perkara-perkara yang aku bagi perhatian demi kesejahteraan perut sendiri.
Disclaimer: This is made based on my personal experience and observation, the impacts might vary to others:

1. Pedas- kalau boleh, cuba elakkan makanan pedas. Tapi kalau x dapat. Kurangkan pun dah cukup ok ;)

2. Asidic- Makanan yang masam2 boleh trigger usus perut penyakit gastric. Kalau dulu aku sgt suka makan buah2 masan, rojak, jeruk etc. Sekarang mmg kena selalu berawas. Mmg aku sgt kurang amik asidic food/fruits

3. Diet - Ada pernah cuba kurangkan berat dgn cara berdiet. Nampaknya cara tu x sesuai utk aku sbb buat gastric aku dtg balik. Caranya sekarang, aku buat diet yang sesuai dgn keadaan usus aku…Walaupun effects agak slow, tapi Berjaya turunkan 3 kilo dlm masa 3 bulan..hihihi...Jadilah

4. Stress level- bab ni sgt subjektif, ada orang mmg xde hal n xde hadapi gastric kalau stress level naik. Mcm aku, mmg ada direct effects..Ntah mcm mana leh jadi gastric ntah..hohohoho

5. Basi- tolong elak sangat2 bab makanan basi ni. Aku selalu ikut guts feeling bab ni.Perut aku mmg xleh tolerate makanan yg hamper basi atau sudah basi. Teruk akibatnya..

Bab trigger dah settle, sekarang apa yang aku buat utk mengelakkan gastric dtg bertamu.

1. Susu - Ye, ni salah satu agent yg baik utk perut pesakit gastric. Tapi, hanya berkesan kalau x kena gastric, waktu sihat. Kebiasaan aku minum segelas susu waktu pagi, segelas susu sebelum tidur. Alhamdulillah, amat jarang dah kena gastric

2. Susu+ Kurma- ni satu lagi good combination yang bg perut kita rasa lega

3. Diet - yang betul dan seimbang

4. Air- Ye, minum air masak/suling yang mencukupi setiap hari. Selain dpt menjaga isi perut dan badan kita. Air juga bantu kita jadi awet muda..Kikiki..So rajin2 laa ye minum air...Air manis dan berkarbonat..x termasuk ye ;)

Ok....happy reading semua...till we meet again ;)



Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Dia mualimah, guru, teacher ku yg pertama

Assalamualaikum……..n happy cheerful Thursday...

Alhamdulillah masih lagi bersiaran dan sihat sejahtera dlm Nikmat dan IhsanNya …..

Tetiba pulak jadi terajin nak update blog ni kan....After all this while, I've been away and pretending to be busy when my life is so routine..hahaha… Sebenarnya, niat nak mencoret di pagi hari ini adalah untuk mengkisahkan kisah seorang insan yang paling istimewa dalam hidup aku. Supaya kisahnya 'hidup' dalam diri aku dan cucu-cucunya yang tidak berpeluang untuk mengenali insan hebat ini kerana Allah lebih Menyayanginya…

Seingat aku, aku berjaya khatam Quran sewaktu umur aku baru mencecah 8 tahun. Sejak bila aku mula belajar Buku Allah ni, mmg aku sendiri pun x ingat..Teruk betul memory, ni sebab dulu banyak sangat main laa..hahaha...Tapi seriously, Darjah 2 je aku dah Berjaya menghabiskan satu buku Allah ni. Alhamdulillah. Kalau ikut flashback memory aku, mungkin...mungkin aku mula kena Kalamullah ni at a very young age...Aku x hebat, yg hebat, Bonda ku….Dia Muallimah, Guru dan Teacherku yang pertama… Aku belajar mengaji dari mama dan bila dah mula masuk sekolah rendah….Baru berjumpa dengan Ustazah Maimunah yang turut sama mengasahkah bakat aku dlm Tilawah AlQuran..Apa??? Durra leh mengaji quran ikut tarannum..hehehe... Boleh laaa sikit2 ;) Lepas laa takat Hijjaz, Bayati etc... Sebab masa sekolah menengah, terpilih masuk Kelas Khas Kemahiran Al-Quran dari zaman Labu sampai la Mergong.. Nak kata aku ni seorang murid yang tekun dan wanita lindungan Kaabah tu..hmmm mmg sadly, TAK.. gheja aku rebel je masa sek menengah tu...haaiishh…Apa jenis peel pun aku sampai skrng, aku sendiri x faham.. errkk

Ok, sambung citer balik...Rumah aku ni, boleh dikatakan dr pagi sentiasa ada orang datang belajar mengaji dengan mak aku ni..Dulu aku pun x faham, pesal rumah aku tiap2 hari penuh...Ada 2 jenis golongan pelajar mama, dewasa dan kanak-kanak. Mama mengajar mengaji Al-Quran dan Muqadam (zaman tu xde Iqra2 ni) dan selain tu mama juga mengajar Fardhu Ain. Jadi, mmg sentiasa lah ada sesi mengaji kat rumah aku yang sentiasa ramai dengan tetamu2 yg dating silih berganti. Yup, rumah kami masa tu mcm B&B, pusat tution lebih kurang.Happening!!

Zaman tu, BBBangi x macam sekarang...Small community dan dalam hutan!! 1980an is e best era kalau korang tanya aku…. Zaman tu, Bangi punya penduduk x sampai 1 ribu orang. Jadi , memang kami boleh kenal each other. Pasar malam pun alahai, comel kecik je..sapa yg perasan, Pasar Pagi fasa satu tu, deret kedai sebaris tu..situ lah tapak pasar malam pertama di Bangi..n pondok polis pertama pun dekat kedai tu...Haaa..punya lah kecik Bangi masa tu ;) yang lain masih lagi tanah kosong or tanah yg ada kelapa sawit..Haiwan2 pun meriah juga waktu tu..xyah nak g Zoo bagai..hihihi…

Kisah mama mengajar ngaji ni….mmg jiran tetangga etc dari mak sampai ke anak2... Mostly, area fasa 1 tu, mama lah muallimah.. Jadi bila aku dah Nampak steady skit....Mama mula training aku utk Tilawah...Suara aku xde la sedap mana..Hehe...tapi takat nak baca Quran secara berlagu..Ok lah… Ada masuk few competitions, ada yang menang n ada yang x.. Tapi bila mama Nampak aku ni susah nak duduk diam lama2..Mama pun dah x paksa aku masuk competitions.. Sebab masuk darjah 3 je, aku mmg sangat aktif bersukan. Wakil sekolah, daerah sampai ke negeri. Jadi , mmg sgt kontra laa kalau aku involved serentak..Mcm split of identity gitu.. Pg dok molek mengaji, petang tukar uniform berpanas terik..Mama mmg cool sbb dia x paksa aku.. Jadi lepas darjah 3, mmg aku stop masuk Tilawah Al- Quran..Tapi, aku dah mula ganti mak aku mengajar kawan2/junior baca Muqadam/Quran kalau hari yg mak aku xde...Ustazah bidan terjun sekali sekala. Pikir2 balik, mcm x percaya pun ada..huhuhu…

So, sekarang ni..aku x hantar anak2 pergi mengaji dgn orang lain. Satu, sebab aku ada ruang nak ajar diorng..Surirumah kan..hehehe.. Kedua, aku nak sambung legasi mama..Bagi tiap kali aku mengajar anak2, aliran pahala tu turun kepada mama..InsyaAllah..Wpun, agak lambat aku mula utk bebudak ni..tapi better late than never. Alhamdulillah..MH dah nak masuk surah Al Imran..IN pula dah masuk Iqra 6.



Sunday, July 29, 2018

It's never too late

Assalamualaikum n happy productive Monday....

Yup...even it is raining and the weather is a bit gloomy (talking about Malaysia's weather in comparison to UK's). Since I read a short story about "Who move my cheese" . It kept on bugging me days and nights. I admit that I am a lazy bum and a champion at procrastination. Yet, my dream is huge, as huge as Table Mountain in South Africa. Somehow, my effort and attitude have been the main obstacles. Alhamdulillah, after reading the story. I think or I believe that it does have an impact on my mindset. Huh!! After nearly 7 months drifting away from what I am supposed to do.. That is why I am saying it...It's never too late...

I passed my viva 7 months ago... Regardless how my SV felt and told me that I can't make it. Against all the odds, Allah has His Mercy on me...n the journey continues. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah...I don't feel ashamed about how long it takes compared to others..There have been ups and downs along the paths...One step has been already in the 'house'..I need to push myself forward to get another leg and start decorating the 'house'. Hahahaha what a metaphor...I have been given another precious opportunity.. Yet, I wasted my 7 months and left with another 5 months.

It's never too late to finish this journey and embark a new one. Please pray for me and surely my prayers and thoughts are for you too. I will try to update my progress along the way. Please excuse my writing and don't be too harsh on me kay ;) I am trying my best to express my thoughts and at the same time to motivate myself through blog writing. It is something that I have done for the past few years.

Those who are with me from beginning, thank you for your supports. This blog has watched my journey, through thick and thin..Alhamdulillah...With His Blessings and Endless Love, I survived... Hope to end this long journey beautifully by the end of this year...Ameen :) :)

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Syawal Ke 6 Tanpa Mama

Ye…. Tahun ni tahun ke 6 kami semua beraya tanpa Mama...….. How do I feel?

The feeling haven't change a bit since 28th April, 2012.. It will never be the same again tho... To think about it, I haven't celebrate Raya with my parents and my family since 2007- 2012 and all in all 6 years since I was away at my place of birth. Plus another 6 years after mama left us, total is 12 years!! During the period of 2007-2011, I didn't feel the distance and loneliness during Raya because mama used to sent me parcels through our pilot friends- Nadir and Ayil (they are also our childhood friends since kindergarten). At that time, they were on Kul- Lon route on monthly basis. Therefore, we always commute back and forth from Soton- London at least once in a month. They are also avid cyclists and loved to purchase online things. It was a barter system because we brought their things in exchange of our parcels sent by mama. Thinking of it, we never run out of stock!! The keropok, rempah ratus etc... Mama will always try to search and get it for me. Huhuhu…… We also talked  on daily basis too... shortest conversation was 10 minutes and longest was 2 hours!!

One thing that I don't feel so lost and full of regrets (unlike my sisters) is that I got to spent at least one solid month in a year with my parents because they came to the UK every year since 2008. In March 2010, when we got the 'disaster' news about my pregnancy. It happened that my family was in Southampton (my parents, youngest sister and brother) when we found out about the complication. It was a blessing in disguised because they were there during my mental turmoil. When I was in my 37 weeks of pregnancy, mama came back to give me moral support and stayed for a month...

That are among the stories that I believe Allah shows His Mercy on me to have mama by my side even we are separated by thousands miles. Alhamdulillah...

I miss you so much mama.... but at the same time, I have good feeling that you are in a better place now. InsyaAllah, one fine day I will follow you too...….

Monday, June 25, 2018

Syawal 2018

Assalamualaikum n Selamat Hari Raya semua :)

Ada lagi ke yg follow blog I ni...hihihi….tengok last post...tudiaaaaaa it was nearly a year a go!
Where have I been? Ermmm Aaaaa Oooohhhh Lalalala…. Busy...busy dgn apa...Busy dgn mcm2..
Dgn my study yg x abes2 tu ( muka pun dh stone dan xde perasaan dah bila ada yg tanya...Haa? x abes2 lagi) Kikiki bertabah laa ye... Dah mmg slow mellow..xde apa yg leh disalahkan melainkan diri sendiri yg motivation ups n downs n ada masa down e drain..... Hahahaha…. Alhamdulillah.... I passed my viva defense… wpun banyak laa juga senarai corrections nak kena hadap semula… At least, sampai laa juga hujung2 tunnel..So skeet lagi je ye Durra..Common… InsyaAllah by few months... Freedom!!!! Ameen Ameen Ameen… Uolls tolong Aminkan bebanyak utk I ye.... supaya jd rajin n cepat2 settlekan corrections tu.…. n focus I x lari jauh2 erewang merata ;)

So, kita citer kisah raya laaa….. Raya 2018 happening dr last year sbb CUTI LAMA due to cuti sekolah 2 weeks....Yak Yak Yeaaaa…. We all gerak balik arah utara dari hari Isnin lagi (11/6/18) sbb En. Abg outstation di Penang... So 2 mlm tu lepak kat Park Avenue Hotel, SP sbb x jauh dr site... Pastu baru gerak balik Perlis ke rumah ayahanda terchinta….. Lepak sana n berbuka puasa kat Masjid MATIN... so mlm raya tu, berbuka ramai2 kat Pendang (kampung halaman tok) sekali dgn saudara mara semua…. Happening n mlm tu aku n En. Abg temankan tok tido kat kampung...Well, aku kan cucu kesayangan tok...kikikiki…. Pepagi sesudah subuh, to dh riuh kejutkan kami..

Mangkit ..Mangkit...Kaih Kaih...P kemaih2 ruang bawah rumah...P bentang sejadah2... So, mmg kena la kami berdua ikut arahan tok...Actually rumah tok ni setahun sekali dua je berpenghuni..Sbbnya sejak arwah Wan xde 2006.. Tok (panggilan utk grandmother kat kedah) terus migrate pindah dok kat pondok moden  MATIN.. Tok beli sebiji unit n ayah aku pun beli gak unit Semi D masa arwah mama masih ada lagi as their retirement home.... Kiranya, tok n ayah aku berjiran laa gitu kekdahnya...hihihi….jarak rumah x sampai 20 metres pun...


Sambung balik kisah 1 Syawal 2018, lps settle set up semua….dlm kul 8.30 pg mmg saudara mara n geng kampung sebaris pakat2 dtg ke rumah tok utk bersolat sunat Syawal….. Agak syahdu juga sebab old faces ramai yg dah kembali KpdNya… n org pun semakin susut/x ramai… Asalnya….Seingat aku masa kecik2, kami semua bersolat sunat Syawal Eid Adha dan even solat Tarawikh kat Rumah Nenek (betul2 setentang umah tok) dlm 10 metres... Lepas nenek pun xde...tradisi tetap diteruskan for several years sampai lah rumah tu mula diserang anai-anai...Jadi diorng pindah tradisi tu ke umah arwah Tok Lang aku/ adik tok (sebelah rumah Nenek)..Lepas Tok Lang meninggal dunia 4 tahun lepas, tukar lokasi ke rumah Tok….

I am not sure how long this tradition will continue... Hopefully for several years.. Tok aku pun tahun ni dah 87 tahun.. Walaupun Tok masih lagi gagah n boleh lg bersolat secara berdiri ( x perlu bantuan) n mampu lagi solat tarawikh 20 rakaat almost every night..Alhamdulillah… Tapi bila aku tengok Tok, hati aku selalu berkata-kata.. Sampai bila Allah akan bagi aku merasa PinjamanNya ni.. (Serious mood syahdu uolls… ye laaa aku sgt akrab dgn tok… Cucu Sulong kan.. n mmg antara semua cucu, aku paling lama lepak kat kampung tiap kali cuti sekolah) Moga Allah panjangkan umur n kesihatan tok..Ameen...Sob Sob Sob

Ok...back to kisah raya… Raya sakan2 dgn sanak saudara berlangsung sampai lah ke hari Isnin 18/6/18 (eh cantic pulak date tu)...Abah buat kenduri aqiqah utk Nuh (anak Arief/ adik bongsu kami)..Diorng balik kejap Malaysia dari Cairo, Egypt sbb nak settlekan urusan passport Nuh. Sbb embassy Mesir x selengkap embassy UK...Mcm passport IN n MH mmg dpt buat terus kat London on e same day masa register birth cert (org Malaysia berlambak kat UK, so mesin tu mmg satu keperluan). Lepas balik 1st day raya kat Pendang...Kami berkampung kat rumah Mak Linda (mak baru kami) di TITIS, Darulaman seterusnya sampai lah next day ptg, gerak semula balik KL... on e way singgah Penang 2 mlm, meeting lagi…. n Khamis tu.… Sempat lah menyinggah makan doyan kat Kuala Kangsar... Ya.. kami sekeluarga mmg hantu doyan… kalau takat beli sebij dua sekali hadap, mmg x cukup...huhuhu...tu sbb x leh makan musang king... so, kami prefer kampung breed.. hihihihihi….. yg unpredictable.... n penuh unsur suspense... I loooikeeee….
Lepas tu, stop by lagi kat Proton City ziarah geng ketat Farabi n Norimah…. akhirnya selamat sampai rumah jam 12 tgh mlm e next day ..Alhamdulillah, traffic mmg sgt smooth mcm x raya je...hihihi

so.….itu lah kisahnya Syawal 2018 Bersama keluarga di Utara....Kisah Raya di KL, x mula lagi sbb mmg x menyempat nak g mana2 sbb rumah kena sebu hari Sabtu tu dari pg sampai ke malam… dah mcm open house dah..mesti jiran ingat kami buat open house, walhal mostly semua dtg impromptu … Rasa terharu sbb kengkawan sudi dtg menyinggah beraya kat rumah comel kami yg punya susah nak masuk ..walhal flat je pun... :P

ok laaa Panjang betul kisahnya…. entah bila lah pulak nak tulis lagi..ni pun tunggu setahun...hihihi…

Selamat Hari Raya semua
Maaf salah silap sepanjang daku bersiaran…… :)